With the Finals well underway we are getting very close to naming the newest Stanley Cup Champion.

The NHL’s 30 teams have been withered down to 2, and a mighty 2 they are. Of the remaining teams, one sticks out to me the most, that being the Rangers of New York.

That is because, I am forced bear witness to their incredible fan base, and by incredible, I mean incredibly annoying.

Now, [X] this window out because what I am about to say troubles me but is me thinking realistically.

I, personally, haven’t missed a single eastern conference post-season game thus far, and as troubling and blasphemous as it is to say; The Rangers have what it takes to win a cup, and if they do, New York is going to be a year long hell for us Islander fans.

It’s no secret that Ranger fans outnumber Islander fans by a large amount. As an original six team, the Rangers are routinely top 3 teams in the league in revenue, as well as being judged the 2nd highest valued team in the league, second to the coveted Maple Leafs. Point being; Dey makes duh money, Dey gets duh fans.

Being that we Isles faithful are so largely outnumbered, now is the time to mentally prepare yourself for the people you will meet if the Rangers end up winning a Cup this year, because, as much as you don’t want to believe it, it isn’t too farfetched of an idea at this point in time.

The Imbecile 

Everyone knows this guy.

He loves to drop stats, the only problem is – he only knows one, and that ‘stat’ is “Potvin Sucks.”

The Imbecile loves to drop names and dates – such as Matteau and Messier, or “No more since 84″ but ask him what Hank’s current GAA is and you’ll get an earful of wins and losses, and probably even another “Potvin Sucks” thrown in there, but sadly, no correct answer.

This is the guy you meet at your local bar and pray that he utters Tavares’ name alongside Nash’s just so you can have the chance to go off on him.

Ask him to spell Lunqvist on a napkin, the ensuing moments will be glorious, trust me.

The Sympathizer

This fan is a tricky one. You want to like him, but at the end of the day, it just can’t be done.

“I know man, you guys really gave Pittsburgh a run for their money last year, but the Isles just didn’t have what we did to overcome ‘em”

The Sympathizer is the Rags fan who tries to come off as a friend, while passively throwing a stick in the spokes and slamming your morale to the pavement.

This fan is normally a little younger, knows his numbers [to an extent] and has either a Kreider or Lunqvist jersey hanging in the closet. Bring up names like Howell or Bathgate to The Sympathizer and the responses you’ll most likely get?

“Who?”

Every conversation you two start normally ends up with him politely telling you how much the Islanders suck, and even does it in a way he thinks is doing no wrong.

All in all, the Sympathizer is just another, annoying, Rags fan.

The Bragger

The Bragger is a terrible, terrible person, but somehow he is the most bearable, as if you were in his shoes, you would be doing the same… bragging.

Though he doesn;’t have that much to brag about, he still make it his duty to do so, and do so he does.

Often found uttering the difference in points between the two teams, are going on about how McDonagh is the next Orr and blah blah blah.

Normally drunk, and normally wearing some sort of stained Rags gear, he is the easiest to spot, and easiest to deter.

A simple “4 in 42, 4 in 88″ will normally shut this one up. Unless he pulls out the “History means nothing” line, just to follow it up with some history-based stat, negating his previous comment. Smart people.

The Statistician

The statistician is my favorite, as they most likely are the one who know what they’re actually talking about.

Care to know how many points Leetch scored in ’93, or how many points separated the Islanders and Rangers in ’97, 16 to be exact, this guy will know.

But, those are the easy numbers, catch yourself sitting next to the statistician at a bar and prepare yourself for save percentages, shots on goal, goals a game, and a smorgasbord of numbers thrown your way. 

Ask him for some Islanders stats, you’ll hear more random/incorrect numbers than a blind person dialing a phone. 

The Historian

This one is most likely an older gentlemen, knows just who Howell and Gilbert are, but most likely couldn’t name a current Islander, and maybe some low-level Rangers.

Still living in the glory that was the ’94 season, and Messier’s “guarantee.” 

Hardest to converse with, as he knows seemingly nothing about current-time hockey, or rosters, first chance he gets to reminisce over past seasons and games won, he dives head first.

Normally associated with The Bragger, this fan can be tolerated in doses but much like any Rangers fan, steer clear.

Connor F. Moire

You can follow Connor on twitter here: @CMIslesBlog

 

Article was previously written on Jun 9th